Save me
by Word-waterfall
Summary: I'm lost, losing myself, I'm not even Hermione anymore....Hermione needs help. Rated R for a reason, Conatins sexual scenes.
1. Beginning

**Title: Save me**

**Written by: _Angel-Of-lightness_**

**Summery:** _I'm lost, I'm not me anymore, Hermione needs help._

_Rated R for a reason Contains sexual scenes_

**Chapter one**

Feelings. Love, lust, hate...sorrow. All swirling in my stomach. I hate this. Hate these feelings. I'm drowning. Losing myself. I've even lost interest in my school work. I don't feel like Hermione anymore, I feel I don't deserve a name.

_I've lost myself._

My hair is greasy- I notice after running my hand through my knotted hair for what seems the millionth time. As I stand, my legs give way, I fall forward again. Weak, _useless_. I'm lost. I take my time again, to slowly rise to my feet. I stumble towards the shower.  
The hot water gushes over my head, taking my tears with them. I unconsciously turn the dial, hot to cold. I'm plunged into cold, turning blue. I slid against the wall of the shower, slide down, and pull my knees to my chest. Push my forehead to my legs, and cry. Cold water gushes. I still cry, how long have I been here? I can see my slow breaths, uncurling in a mist ahead of my face. Takes me a while to see I'm shivering. I study my pale hands, long fingers, short nails, numb palms. Black edges in around me, in circles, my vision slowly gets slimmer. My chances of happiness are slimmer then an anorexic tapeworm with bulimia. I laugh. Doom comes after us all. Even the good ones. My vision warps, I let go. I fall into darkness.

* * *

Harry Potter chewed his food slowly. Ron was talking culturally about Quidditch. Harry caught snippets of his one sided conversation  
  
"....So Davidson, dived, not just any dive, he di-v-ed!...."  
  
He wasn't interested. He swallowed, looking around. "Ron, Where's Hermione?"  
  
"...the snitch...What? Oh, probably reading." He scoffed, and then continues with his talk.  
  
Harry panicked, where was she?!

* * *

The bile rose in my throat again. She hadn't eaten, again. I panicked, where is she? What has she done? I rise from the dinner table, leaving Ron to his talk. I don't think he was paying much attention, his eyes are glazed.

As I reach the 7th year dormitories, I turn to the girl's staircase. Walking to the banister, I hitch my feet up on the banister, jump to the window sill, and shimmy along the ledge to avoid the trick staircase. I land ahead of the dormitory door. Placing my hand on the handle, I turn the cold metal and push the door open silently. The room is empty, but the shower is on next door.  
  
_Shit.  
_  
I open the bathroom door, Slide open the shower door. She's there.  
  
"Hermione! Love, please not again!"  
  
But she is there. Unconscious, again. Her lips blue. I turn off the shower, I did think of turning the shower to hot to warm her up, but that would cause trauma to her body. I put my hands around her waist, and pull her from the cold porcelain of the shower base. I place her on the bathroom floor, locking the cubicle behind me.  
  
"God, Hermione, Why do you do this!" I rub at her hands and arms, and place towels over her. I'm not embarrassed at seeing her naked, it's happened so many times before. I'm watching her waste away, she doesn't eat, doesn't sleep, doesn't feel.  
  
Although, I still love her. I could never tell her. _If Voldermort found out...._I shuddered. He didn't yet know of the connection I share with her. This special connection, I can tell her anything. She tell me everything, I know of the nightmares she has, know what's plaguing her. Why she does this. Why last week I found her holding a magically heated iron to her hand. The week before that, slicing her wrists, the week before that, her going to jump from the divination tower. I help her, always know hat to do, know the right spells, know the right words. And I am scared. I want her to live, need her. Love her. Want to grow old with her. I snap back to reality as she stirs.  
  
"God" She coughed "I'm sorry Harry"  
  
I realise I'm crying. "No, love, I'm sorry. It's my fault"  
  
She swallowed hard. "No Harry" she shut her eyes "Can you take me to bed?"  
  
I nodded, lifting her up, helping her tie the towel around her body. I shiver as my skin makes contact with hers. I slowly help her to her bed, help her into some underwear and shirt, and put her under the covers.  
  
I pull the curtains around her bed and sit at the bottom of the bed. Pointing my wand at the bed.  
  
"_Silenco,_ Now, No-one can hear us Love"  
  
She smiles "I love it when you call me that" She crawls from under the bed covers, and into my lap. I gather her up, so she is comfortable.  
  
Her next question totally surprises me  
  
"You think I'm pretty?"  
  
I smiled, "No" I said simply, _Its time to tell her_  
  
"Do you want to be with me forever  
  
"No"  
  
"Would you cry, if I left?"  
  
"No"  
  
I turned her round to look at me  
  
"You're not pretty you're beautiful. I don't want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever. And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die..."  
  
She looks at me, clearly amazed. She puts her lips to mine, in one fast movement, she pulls away. I shift her so she is in my lap fully, she puts her legs around my waist. I look at her and see in her eyes –something I've wanted to see for a long time- Happiness...and love. I push my lips back against hers. Her tongue runs along my bottom lip before entering my mouth, and dancing with my own. I shiver, she tastes amazingly sweet. Her scent fills me. I run my hands under her top, placing my hands on the small of her back. She moans into mouth, as if daring me to go higher. I comply.

* * *

(Hermione)  
  
Electric, the shots of feeling run up my body as his hands touch my back. I shiver, so good. His hands ride up my back, until they reach my bra clasp. He pulls away, looking unsure, I look into his eyes, feelings that I've been wanting to feel for so long fill me – Love. I nod at the emeralds. And he sees he un clips the bra, and I feel it come loose under my shirt. He kisses my neck as he undoes the buttons. Small trails of fire, lightning bolts tingle my skin. As he reaches the last button I bend and catch his lips in mind, craving for the taste of his again. It was like finding myself again, I moan into his mouth as he slides the shirt off. I'm glad he placed that silencing charm there before. I now realise where I was going wrong, what I was missing, The hole was slowly being repaired. Harry was my missing link, my love, what I needed. He runs his hands over me, around my collarbone down my arms, to find my hands, and clasp them. He kisses my chin...neck...chest bone. He lets go of my hands and slides the loose undergarment away. I feel relived. The fire engulfs me again as he kisses around my breasts, before flicking his tongue out. I sigh, and fall back from his knees. Suddenly flat on my back. He slides over me, catching my lips again. I fumble for the hem of his top. Sliding it over his head as he pulls away, as soon as it comes away from his head, he is on my lips again. Kissing deeply. I'm in nothing but my knickers -I laugh- which in fact were only placed on me not a long time ago.  
  
"No fair" I mumble into his tongue.  
  
"What?" He asks breathless, looking at m with such love, I almost engulfed him in kisses again. But I held myself. Wanting to tease.  
  
"I'm here...In only my knickers, You, My dear, Are still in your trousers"  
  
He fake pouts, looking so adorable, "But, love, then I'll be cold"  
  
"Soon, sort that then, won't me" He raised an eyebrow at me.  
  
"Really?"  
  
I smile, and roll over, so he is pinned underneath me. I slide my hands over his toned chest, causing him to gasp.  
  
I begin to kiss him on the neck, then moved down...past his belly button.  
  
"'Mione" He gasped, "Don't tease" He pleaded.  
  
I smiled, and begin to move upwards again, meanwhile unbuttoning his trousers, then sliding them off. I crush my lips against his lips, the taste. He wiggles uncomfortably underneath me as his erection became quite obvious and I rubbed against it.  
  
"Please, 'Mione" I pulled his boxers off.

* * *

(Harry)  
  
She's a bad tease, very bad. It's almost painful to be this turned on.  
  
I quickly roll her over again, so I'm on top again.  
  
She laughs, "Like being in control do you....oh!" She exclaims as I slide into her. Her hands clasp the bed sheets. I can almost see pressure inside her coil. She bucks up into me. I gasp as a vast pleasure-pain hit me.  
  
"Mione, I'm in love!"  
  
"Yeah? Anyone I know?"  
  
"Yeah, You know her very, Very well, actually"  
  
"Really?" She gasps "What's her name?"  
  
"Hermione!" I almost shout, but she slips her tongue into my mouth. She pulls away, as she bucks again, she thrashes from side to side. We both tumble over the edge.  
  
I slide out of her, and lay beside her. She looks at me.  
  
"You saved me"  
  
I smile. "All I did, and will always do, Is love you"  
  
She kisses me softly, We laugh quietly as we struggle to get under the blanket covers. I place my arm around her, "I love you"  
  
She snuggled up against me "Ditto"  
  
**A/N: There is a second Chapter, I'll post it if I get good feedback! Thanks for reading! Naz xxx**


	2. Aftermath

**Title: Save me**

**Written by: _Angel-Of-lightness_**

**Summery:** _I'm lost, I'm not me anymore, Hermione needs help._

**Chapter two**

I awoke with a jolt, the world is blurry- and I suddenly realise the absence of the warm weight beside me. I sit up and promptly fall out of bed. I frown and my head jerks to the side, as a soft laugh reaches my ear.

"You're cute when you're confused"

I smirk "So do you"

"And exactly how many times have you seen me confused?" She laughs.

I consider this, in all of the years that I've known her- I've hardly saw her confused. She always looked so sure of herself- in her anger, upset, happiness, depression she always looked like she knew what she was doing.

"How long have you been awake?" I ask- she doesn't answer- and I know.

"You haven't been asleep at all have you?" I frown.

I see her blurry figure shake her head. I sigh. I've tried to hard to make her happy, help her forget her troubles...I suddenly remember how I confronted her about it first time round.

"_What's going on Hermione? I never see you eat anymore, god, I never even see you anymore!" Harry looked downwards, his tears leaving marks on the carpet of the Library._

"_Nothing, Harry." She answered sadly "It's nothing"_

"_Don't give me that Bullshit!"_

_Hermione flinched, and quickly turned her head to the side. "Harry, please. Leave me in peace"_

"_You know I won't do that" He said, kneeling at her side._

"_I know you won't, But I'm asking you. Please?"_

_He shook his head, "Don't push me away, and don't close me out"_

"_Why?" She snapped "You do it, how many times have I cried over you, the way you push me out, lock a door on me. Hide yourself a way"_

"_I..." He stammered. _

"_Exactly Harry" She pushed herself out of her seat, and stumbled, her legs shaky and weak._

"_I never made myself Ill" He said more confidently._

_She gritted her teeth. "I'm not Ill"_

_He sighed "Look at you Hermione, thin, pale. I've watched you in moaning myrtles bathroom"_

"_You **watched **me?!" She stood on her own feet this time. _

"_Yes" He stepped closer to her. "I watched you put your fingers down your throat, watched you cry. Then watched you stop eating all together" He wiped at his eyes._

"_You saw all that, Huh? Hermione leaned against the bookcase._

_The setting sun flooded the room with a purple-red light, making Hermione's unshed tears glint in her eye's, and Harry's own shed tears flash._

"_You can't hide it anymore"_

"_No-one else has noticed" She snapped._

"_That's true, but I have. And you're hurting I don't want you to hurt"_

"_I don't hurt"_

"_Stop denying it!"_

"_I'm not!"_

_Harry's lips set into a firm line, and in one fast movement he pulled her sleeve up her arm. Cuts and Scars covered her skin, along with dry blood._

"_That means you're hurting" Hermione shut her eyes tight and lifted them to the ceiling._

"_I can't help it" She whispered_

_Harry placed his arms around her; she rested her head on his shoulder._

"_I know" He answered quietly. "That's why I'm going to help"_

"_I want to stop, I do. I can't" _

_He pulled away from her, and placed his hand on her cheek._

_She felt faint; her head rang, and ran in circles. A buzzing insisted in her ears. Black dots swam in her vision. And she fell._

_Harry ran in to catch her; he shifted her weight into his lap, her head lolled scarily._

_He began to cry into her shoulder._

"_Why Hermione, why?"_

_He carefully laid her down. Then stood on his own shaky legs._

_He stood before her, and hoisted her up into his arms._

I took her to her bed that day, and looked after her for a day. It was the start of a string of events.

"Harry?!"

I blink back to the present; Hermione is leaning in front of me

"Do you want your glasses back or not?"

I laugh quietly and place them over my eyes. The world comes into sharp focus. I look at Hermione, **my** Hermione. She looks tired, old and worn. There is still sadness lingering in her eyes, something I will never be able to erase. A war and people can do that to a person. I blanch as I see the fresh blood soaking her robes.

"No, no, no, no, no- Hermione, Why?"

She looks at her arms guilty, "It helps me Harry"

"I should be the one who helps you!"

"You do, believe me Harry, you do! When my Parents dies you were the only one there, even Ron deserted me. You stayed by me. I love you for that"

I can't keep the sadness from my voice "I asked you to stop"

"And I'm trying Harry! Its become less and less frequent now!"

"It's my fault, I didn't help you enough- I was always too late"

"No, you can't be there all the time; you have a job to do!"

"I should be able to do both" I whisper angrily.

"Nobody can be in two places at once" She smiles.

I quickly recall the time turner "I find that Hard to believe?"

She smiles wider, and runs her hand over my cheek, then settles herself into my lap.

I wrap my arms around her, and take in the scent of her.

"I promise I'll be here forever" I take her hands in mine, and she sighs sadly.

"I hope that's true Harry"

And I do to. I want to survive Voldermort for her, and I'm determined to- But it's a promise I can't really make, she knows that.

"Do you remember when Voldermort took me?"

I shudder, of course I do.

"How did you feel?"

I thought for a minute "I felt like the world was ending, and I felt angry. I wanted to kill him"

"What about when you found me?"

"Relief, I felt lucky to ever hug you again. But you were taken away from me" I frown. Remembering her 4 months in St Mungos, after all the torture Voldermort and his cronies inflicted on her- and the way she had almost died.

She squeezes my hand "How about now?" She inquires

"I love you, and will never let you. If they take me away from you now, I'd fight so hard to get you back. I'd fight a thousand Voldermorts"

She smiles. After all she's been through- The death of her parents, being captured and tortured by Voldermort, when two whole families had been killed at her older sister's wedding- She could still smile. It was a symbol of hope. Even after the war, there will still hope, I was going to make sure of it.

She turns in my lap, and looks into my eyes. "You looked after me, you stood by me, and I truly couldn't thank you enough. You saved me'

And then we kiss, its not rushed and passionate like last night's, its slow, a declaration of love. I slowly deepen the kiss- and invite her tongue to join mine in a slow dance. When we pull apart, we just hug- No words are needed. We've gone beyond that.

I've saved her,

Little did she know- But she saved me too.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews, I deeply appreciate the confidence you give me to write. MARSHMALLOWS FOR ALL! Smile**

**Thanks to: **Kaite, Joanne, Thor-uk2000, Scorpio-1983, Kuriouskittykat, Angel-baby-00, Titou, ----------, Crakin' crackhead Finly, Mini-fridge, EmilyKP, Angelfire1589, BakaOni, Mysticalfairy-05, Mantis Macabre, BGirl527, Svfanforlife, Mouse, Ocelot the Revolver, Missradcliffe, Richard the Pedantic, Redneck horse lover, Crystal56 and finally Dai-dai

**I really love you guys! Thanks so much! I hope you enjoyed the story.**

**Finally, there is an epilogue written, but it will only be posted is its wanted.**

**Thanks again!**


	3. Short Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Hermione stood at her window. Her window, in her own dorm, she was the New Head Girl. She exhaled slowly, Pushing the window opening, letting the warm breeze engulf her. She smiled, It was summer, a whole six months since she last tried to end her life. That was the last time she had ever felt the urge to do it. All because of one person.

A pair of arms wrapped around her middle, and a kiss was planted on her neck.

"Hey you-"

"Hi, Harry"

She leaned back against him, and his head boy badge glittered in the corner of her eye, almost identical to hers.

"How are you feeling?"

"Wonderful, Hermione, now you're here"

She smiled, relishing the warmth he was radiating. She wanted nothing more than this. She wanted nothing more than to be in Harry's arms, nothing more than to be Harry's.

"I Love you"

"I know"

"Aren't you going to answer back?"

Another kiss on her neck

"You know I love you, you saved me"


End file.
